well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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