Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
