i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
