id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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