And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
