Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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