Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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