Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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