That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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