Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize