Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
