I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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