Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Randomize
