In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
