ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i out mim tonsoeep
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