uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
