i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
