Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
