I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
