i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
