the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think i have two assholes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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