So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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