at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
