just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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