If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
