NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
