I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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