I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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