I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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