loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
