When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
