matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
