I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
