i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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