Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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