Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
