so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
