I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
