I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
