if i can run in heels then i can drive
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
