You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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