Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
