Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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