You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
