wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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