Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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