I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
