want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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