I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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