glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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