It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
