He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
