She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
